


the deepest secret (which everyone knows)

by Shinkirou



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinkirou/pseuds/Shinkirou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which others muse on the relationship between the Blue and Red Kings</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the pros

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chesra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chesra/gifts).



> prompt from [Chesra](http://colorpsychedelic.tumblr.com): MikoRei through the eyes of other people! Kusanagi / Totsuka / Fushimi / Anna / Kokujoji.

_totsuka tatara_

Tatara is the first one to really notice it. Or, at least he thinks he is - Anna might have come a little before, but she didn't say anything, so it's pretty difficult to tell. Then again, she might not notice things like lust and longing, right? He certainly hopes not! Those are rather too grown up for their darling princess Anna! But he can't deny her powers, so it is possible that she had.

Either way, whoever noticed first doesn't really matter. The fact is that his King is... Interested, at least, in the Blue King. He has no idea how deep it runs, or if it's a mutual sort of feeling, but suspects it is. After all, they certainly fight a lot! Which certainly isn't surprising coming from his King, but the Blue King is supposed to be all about justice and order, which probably involves not fighting when it's possible to avoid it. 

He keeps the realization to himself, of course; it isn't anyone else's business what his King chooses to do in his spare time, or who he chooses to see. Sure, Tatara might think it's a bad idea, but he knows that his King isn't running into the Blue King everywhere on purpose, and if they're actually on somewhat friendly terms outside of work, well, that's a good thing, isn't it? As long as his King is happy. And safe! And so far he hasn't come back injured, so it's fine. 

... Probably. 

Well, if it becomes a problem, he'll say something about it. In the meantime he just pretends like he doesn't see it, like he can't tell when his King's back from meeting up with the Blue King, pretends he doesn't notice the way his King's been spacing out more often lately. Tatara knows his King and the Blue King aren't exactly close friends, but there's definitely some other level to the Kings than just enemies. And, as much as Tatara privately doesn't really like to admit it, his King does usually seem to be in a slightly better mood when he returns. 

He knows it's nothing personal - it isn't like his King likes the Blue King more than he likes his own clansmen, it's probably just that his King can relax completely around him, as long as they're not fighting. They share a special sort of bond, being Kings, and while Tatara likes to think his King knows he's around if his King ever needs anything, sometimes his King probably just needs to share with someone who can understand first hand. It's not a mark against any of the members of HOMRA or anything, just, they literally cannot understand everything that a King has to deal with, considering they're not in that situation.

In some ways, the Blue King might even be good for him! Of course Totsuka loves his King just the way he is and doesn't think he needs to change, but, well, if the Blue King can make his King relax and help burn off some of his excess energy, those aren't bad things! Tatara wants his King to live as long as possible and knows he's too stubborn to just step down should the time ever come, so if the Blue King can help keep his power in check, that's good too! Tatara isn't always right there to help, as much as he wishes he could be, so even though he can calm his King down, he feels better knowing he's not the only one. What if something happened to him? Well, Anna probably can too, but it's never a bad thing to have a third party able to as well. Just in case.

So, overall, Tatara is mostly okay with it. As long as his King is happy, he's happy, even if he worries that perhaps this might not be such a good idea. He's never been one to try and control his King's life, so, if he's come to this decision on his own, then, that's all there is to it! Besides, it isn't like King would listen anyway, if someone did try to talk him out of it - he really is spectacularly stubborn, after all, and as long as he's decided, that's that!

Everything will work out!

_kusanagi izumo_

Izumo views the whole thing as... Ill-advised, really. Of course he figures it out - admittedly not before Tatara - but not all that long thereafter. Mikoto comes back to Bar HOMRA smelling rather like alcohol, which is enough normally to garner Izumo chewing him out, but on top of that there's a lingering smell of a brand of cigarettes that Mikoto doesn't smoke. Sure, it could have been any random person nearby him at the bad smoking, but Mikoto's entire demeanor rather suggests that's not the case.

Still, it's only a suspicion at that point, if a strong one. It isn't until a few days later when Mikoto and the Blue King have broken away from the middle of a clan battle to go fight each other alone, which is nothing new, only to have Mikoto come back looking oddly satisfied and even more disheveled than usual. Most people would just chalk it up to having fought the Blue King - it's no secret they both enjoy their fights after all - except Izumo notes the lack of injuries on both parties, as the Blue King comes back soon enough, expression slightly displeased, but also somewhat... Relieved? Satisfied? Izumo can't really pin it down, but he doesn't seem completely pissed, anyway.

HOMRA and Scepter4 part ways for the day there, and he can't help but glance over at Mikoto every few minutes, just to check and see, and he really does look relaxed. Well, even more so than usual. It's not like he ever has good posture or anything, but his shoulders are dropped even more, and he seems completely at ease. 

Izumo hopes they didn't have sex, but only because he's worried one or both of them will get attached. 

It's not like it's anyone else's' business, as long as they don't let it interfere with their duties, Izumo supposes. Well, that and as long as they both want it, but considering neither side seems to be unhappy at all, he doubts that's an issue. Still, that doesn't mean he thinks it's smart of them - sleeping with someone long enough tends to lead to having feelings for them, doesn't it? 

... Or does either one of them already have feelings for the other? What if it's mutual? That would probably be the worst, as much as that sounds awful to even think. If they don't want to fight, if they'd rather be together... Well, Izumo supposes that wouldn't be a bad thing by itself. It's not like the Blue King has to worry about getting hurt by any average person, and maybe Mikoto could rest a little easier in that case, but if it interferes with them doing their jobs, it's too much. It's only a matter of time, right? It's hard to keep emotions out of it, isn't it?

It's not like it's a situation he's ever been in, but he's weary of the whole thing. Sure, he's glad Mikoto seems... More relaxed, but at the same time, it's just... He can't see it ending well. He wants Mikoto happy more than anything, so the fact that he's doing something that has such a low probability of ending any other way than painfully makes Izumo worried. It isn't like he doesn't trust the Blue King to take care of Mikoto or anything, because he knows that he wants to help him, so he's really not concerned with that, but... They're not exactly friends. It's only a matter of time until they fight... Or, if they do end up getting closer, it could go one of two ways. Right? 

... Well, as long as neither of them gets attached, or if both of them do...? Izumo sighs agitatedly to himself, drawing Totsuka's attention, and Totsuka smiles at him. Izumo gets the sense that Totsuka figured it out before him, but he's always had a knack for these types of things, so he doesn't dwell on it. Except, he wonders what Totsuka thinks about it, because if he's figured it out ahead of time and hasn't said anything, then... He's probably okay with it. And if Totsuka is okay with it, then, well, Izumo will resign himself to waiting until something changes, for better or worse.

For now, he'll just stand aside and be ready to support Mikoto as necessary.

_kushina anna_

Anna is actually the first one to know. She never lets on, of course, because at the time she figures it out, Mikoto himself hasn't.

She feels the first vague acknowledgment of the Blue King as a rival at first, a slow, tiny spark in the back of Mikoto's mind. Of course, at that point, it doesn't mean anything, just that Mikoto has accepted that the Blue King is an equal. Which, well, is something in and of itself, she supposes, because it's been such a long time since Mikoto has had a legitimate equal. 

Anna knows that it isn't like Mikoto doesn't love Tatara and Izumo and her and everyone else in HOMRA, but this is a bit different. Yes, Mikoto can relax around all of them, but... They can talk about things that nobody else understands. 

Anna sees the most of it, the way Mikoto's feelings start as a bitter rivalry, to more of a grudging acceptance of an equal, to something more like an obscure form of friendship. Mikoto feels a lot of things around the Blue King, and Anna loves watching the way his red reflects those emotions. Except when they're sad ones. She knows she's too young to understand the sorts of things they probably talk about - she's never eavesdropped, of course, and so doesn't actually know what those things are - but she knows whenever they've met, and can't help but become sad, herself, when Mikoto is. 

Thankfully, that's fairly rare. Usually his red just seems... A bit brighter. Like he's happy, only, not quite. She wonders if maybe Mikoto and the Blue King are happy together, but doesn't ask. She feels like she's not supposed to know about it at all, and can't help but feel a little guilty, even though it's not her choice, it's all her powers. 

Admittedly, at first she had wondered if maybe Mikoto _wasn't_ happy with HOMRA, and worried that she was part of the problem. Did she cling too much? Did Mikoto think she was a hassle to take care of? Gradually she's come to know the difference - Mikoto _is_ happy here with all of them, and she can see it in his red. It's just... Different, with the Blue King. She doesn't really understand how it's different, or why, but anything that makes Mikoto happy, she's fine with. 

Even if it doesn't seem... Entirely like happiness. She knows they fight frequently in public, but Mikoto never seems really offended or anything, and she doesn't think that the Blue King ever really seems sad or upset, either. She doesn't really understand why they fight, then, but as long as they're not unhappy, it's okay, right?

She wonders if she'll understand when she gets older, but thinks that Mikoto's happiness is her happiness.

_fushimi saruhiko_

Fushimi is... Rather confused about it. He's not sure what he feels, at first.

On the one hand, he really hates Suoh, and actually kind of likes the Captain, even if he is socially inept and can be bossy, and dumps his work onto his subordinates so he can slack off and sit around drinking tea and eating sweets --

... Either way, he kind of respects his Captain, wouldn't have joined Scepter4 if he didn't. 

... Probably. He really _did_ hate HOMRA.

Since he left Suoh Mikoto behind, he thought that the most he'd see of him was during clan fights. For the most part, that's still true - it's not like his Captain or Suoh are stupid enough to do anything where anyone can see them or anything, but still, he has noticed the... effect, that this relationship - of whatever nature it is - has been having on his Captain. Sure, most of the others don't really notice, though he's fairly certain Awashima knows too, but that doesn't make it any less obvious to him. 

He supposes it's none of his business either way, really. As long as his Captain keeps doing his job - or as much as he ever does - then it's nothing to be concerned about. Even if it is highly inadvisable and Fushimi thinks they're both morons for getting involved. After all, Suoh's a ticking time bomb, and everyone knows it. On top of that, Munakata's gonna have to be the one who kills him when the time comes, most likely. 

Then again, maybe that's _why_ the Captain is fucking Suoh. If he can make Suoh fall in love with him or something, it'd be easier to control him, right? And if he can get Suoh to heel, then Homra would logically follow.

... But Fushimi knows that, while it would be nice, that's not the Captain's goal. He doesn't know the reason why those two _are_ fucking, figures it's probably like their bodies being super compatible or something, but honestly doesn't really care. Thinks it's a bad idea, sure, but, well, it's not his life, and frankly doesn't care that much about the sex lives of either his Captain or Suoh Mikoto. Not to mention the fact that his Captain usually seems... A bit more relaxed, whenever he comes back from meeting Suoh, even if unintentional. And a happy Captain means less work shoved off onto others, since the Captain will actually stay put at his desk, and therefore actually be productive every once in a while.

So, his Captain and Suoh Mikoto are fucking. He doesn't exactly _like_ the idea, but, well, it's got nothing to do with him, and besides, it's not like he's about to bring it up - he rather enjoys the perks of being his Captain's favorite (save for Awashima, of course), and certainly isn't about to rock the boat.

Though, he does wonder what Misaki would think about it, if he knew...

_kokujoji daikaku_

Kokujoji becomes aware of it during one of Munakata's visits. It isn't like the Blue King says anything about it or anything, only even mentions the Red King in passing as a 'nuisance', but he's been alive long enough (has enough personal experience) to recognize exasperated fondness when he sees it. Admittedly, the Blue King could be quite difficult to read, even for him, but... They're alike, in a lot of ways, which makes it easier.

That isn't to say he thinks they're in love or anything, though. On the other hand however, he does know they aren't merely enemies who happen to enjoy sleeping together. Even if neither of them would likely ever admit it, he does suspect they are actually something more along the lines of friends. 

Oh, certainly, the fact that they are both Kings makes for a fairly decent starting point - Kings walk lonely paths, after all, and the only people who can understand those burdens are other Kings - but it isn't only that, with those two, he feels. They're... Close to each other. Yes, they're both still walking solitary paths, but perhaps every once in a while they are allowed to intersect and overlap, even if only to divide again.

Still, he worries. If Suoh Mikoto follows in the steps of his predecessor, then Munakata Reishi will be forced to do what his predecessor could not. There absolutely cannot be another Kugatsu Crater incident. He knows that Munakata is more than aware of that, of course, and has no doubt that should it come to such a thing, Munakata has the strength that the former Blue King did not. He will certainly be able to do what needs be done. There isn't a doubt in his mind of this.

He just doesn't want to see it come to that, particularly not if those two are... Involved. So he worries. He could, of course, have someone keep an eye on them, make sure it doesn't get to the point that Munakata cannot function as the leader of Scepter4 anymore, but he truly does not think it will ever come to that. They know their roles. It is tragic, but if those two are already aware of the most likely outcome, and are still willing to see each other in that regard - even if there are no romantic feelings - then he will not stop them. They are adults, even if just barely, and more mature than anyone their age should need to be.

Sometimes he thinks about Weismann's words, and how the Slate has brought nothing but loneliness and suffering. While he can't doubt that being a King has certainly changed his life, on good days he likes to think that the existence of Kings has also brought some good. If Munakata Reishi and Suoh Mikoto can set aside their many differences and bond over their shared experiences, is that not a good thing? Arguably they may never had had said experiences if they were not Kings, but Kokujoji feels that they have enough in common, personally, that perhaps their Kingship was merely the final push needed for the two of them to become something other than acquaintances, at best. 

But perhaps he is over-thinking things. He will not intervene regardless, unless it becomes absolutely necessary to the nation that he does, and he does not even remotely think that it ever will. Certainly, the Blue King's position is an important one, the most vital after Silver and Gold, but he trusts Munakata Reishi to never let things go down any such road as may even so much as inconvenience one other person, if he can help it. 

Still... He worries. Should his fears come to pass, and Suoh Mikoto ends up perishing on Munakata Reishi's blade, he worries that the Blue King will react too negatively. Not so much that he needs resign, nor does Kokujoji worry about the state of the Blue King's Sword of Damocles, knows it to be in near-perfect condition, but that he will simply distance himself even further than he already does.

It's a delicate balancing act, and he's worried which way they will fall. However, he is happy for them, so long as they are happy with one another. In their situation, perhaps that is the best one can ask for.


	2. and then there was one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the not-at-all-awaited angst half. 
> 
> suddenly the order i put them in is going to make all sorts of terrible, painful sense. 
> 
> i am _so_ sorry
> 
> also, a few context notes: Anna's section was inspired by [this post](http://followmeandsmile.tumblr.com/post/64573160200/green-tweets-suoh-the-lost-person-for-a-strain-and), and for context in Kokujoji's portion, please read [this](http://chilly-territory.tumblr.com/post/51545333388/k-guide-book-vol-7-the-king-who-was-left-behind-by) painful side story

_totsuka tatara_

Totsuka thinks that things between King and the Blue King are finally going... Pretty well. Or maybe as good as can be expected? It's still really obvious whenever they get together, even if they're not doing anything in particular, because King always looks happier. Totsuka's glad, really. He knows that HOMRA is good for King, yes, but having someone else outside of it, with a different sort of relationship, certainly isn't a bad thing!

Besides, since Munakata's the Blue King, maybe he can succeed in keeping Suoh alive, since Totsuka's not going to be around anymore. He knows it the second he feels the bullet enter his body. It's not instant - he has enough time to figure out the identity of the killer, and even manages to call Izumo. Or, well, kind of call. He apologizes, anyway, and a few minutes later Yata and Izumo are there, Yata holding him and telling him they've got help coming, and to just hold on -

He wonders if King will be mad. He also wonders if King will be okay. 

Not emotionally - he knows his King is strong, and will probably seek out revenge even though Totsuka doesn't really want him to. He knew this was coming, after all. He just wishes it hadn't happened minutes before Anna's birthday. He hopes she doesn't blame herself. He hopes King stays alive. 

He tells Yata that everything will work out. 

For once, he thinks he might be lying.

_kusanagi izumo_

When Awashima Seri calls him with a request to arrange a meeting between Munakata and Mikoto, Kusanagi can't say he's terribly surprised.

With the way things must have ended between them... There's probably a lot of resentment there. Those two definitely have some things to work out, but he's afraid it's probably too late. He knows Munakata wants to stop Mikoto, but Kusanagi also knows Mikoto better than that. He's fixed on this course; there's nothing anyone can do anymore to persuade him. About the only person who even has a chance to change the outcome of things is Munakata, which... Hurts, in a way, because Kusanagi feels fairly certain that he won't succeed. It's surprisingly not a lack of faith in Munakata; Kusanagi knows he's strong and capable and smart, but this isn't about any of thay, unless Munakata can figure out the killer's identity and kill him before Mikoto does, if he does in fact turn out to be a King. 

No, what hurts is the fact that he's losing his other best friend so soon after Totsuka. The two most important people to him, dying one right after the other... In a way, he does want Munakata to succeed, to somehow manage to save Mikoto here. But he knows that even if Munakata succeeded, it wouldn't really matter - Mikoto's Sword is in shambles, and it's only a matter of time before it falls. Saving him here would let him live longer, yeah, but probably not by much - especially because Mikoto would be _furious_ and would probably attack Mukakata for real. 

Kusanagi doesn't see a happy ending here. But as much as he hurts, knowing he's about to lose Mikoto, he can't help but feel awful for Munakata, too. Trying to save Mikoto as desperately as he is... He's going to end up devastated. Kusanagi doesn't know just how much Munakata cares about Mikoto, but he does know that it's too much. He shouldn't care at all. He's just going to end up hurt. 

On the other hand, it's kind of frustrating to watch. Knowing that there's nothing he can do, he kind of wants Munakata to just accept that fact and move on. He's trying too hard, bleeding his concern and desire to save Mikoto all over the place, and it's almost too much, because it makes Kusanagi want to believe in him. Hope is a dangerous thing. Kusanagi knows better, but of course he _wants_ Mikoto to live. They're best friends, and they lost Totsuka so recently... But he really does know that it's almost certainly not going to happen, and that even if it did, it's only a matter of time anyway.

He just wishes Munakata could see it and accept it, already. There's no saving him now. 

He goes to talk to Mikoto. It's not going to be the last time, of course, he knows Munakata won't fight - at least not physically - with Mikoto during this meeting. Still, despite all of this, he really does think that Mikoto's the best King they could have asked for, and he doesn't regret being his best friend even through all of this. He takes Anna and watches Mikoto's back retreat - this is the end, for Mikoto and Munakata. That much he knows. 

The King is (soon to be) dead, long live the King.

(He _wishes_.)

_kushina anna_

Anna _screams_ , louder than she's ever been, even if by normal standards it isn't quite so loud as she thinks it is.

She feels everyone else turn to look at her, as they all realize just why she's yelling. Mikoto is dead. She feels numb, again, even though she knows that this is what Mikoto wanted. It's just that everyone around her _keeps dying_ , and she thinks it's her fault, because she's a curse. She knew Tatara was going to die, and even warned him, but he'd stayed by Mikoto's side all the same. Still... She knows that this is Mikoto's choice, and that they'll all tell her that it's not her fault at all. She knows that, but that doesn't change the fact that she hurts from losing two of the people she was closest to in such a short period of time. 

When the red floats into the sky, she watches it with a smile on her face as HOMRA chants around her - she's not happy, of course, but it is pretty. It's something she can see. 

It's the last she'll see of Mikoto's pretty red. She has to treasure it.

Once it subsides, she goes back to Izumo's arms, and doesn't let go of him. He holds her just as tight in return, crouches to pull her into his arms - he's not crying, not yet, but Anna thinks he will be once they're alone. She sees the Blues on the bridge waiting anxiously to see if their own King is coming back, but she knows he is. Mikoto wouldn't have let anything happen to him, even though they were fighting. Mikoto cared about him too much. 

She doesn't resent Munakata, because she knows Mikoto wanted this. It was his own choice. Of course she can't exactly thank the Blue King for it, either, but... She doesn't hate him. He didn't want this, and even tried to stop Mikoto - she knows that. Even though her whole world is spinning again, so soon after Tatara, she still feels bad for Reishi. 

It occurs to her that Reishi probably knew he'd have to kill Mikoto eventually. He'd stayed, too; just like Tatara, in that way. She thinks Mikoto was like a flame, and not because of his powers. It was always warm by his side, and people were drawn to him. But he'd burned too bright - wonderfully, amazingly, had helped so many people, but he'd gone too far and needed to be put out. 

She wonders if Reishi will ever feel that warm again. She knows Homra will always exist in some form or another, and they'll keep supporting one another. Yes, Reishi has his own clan, but Anna thinks that if he was with Mikoto, then he'd definitely have been Reishi's biggest source of warmth. 

Nobody could be warmer than Mikoto, after all.

She feels bad for everyone in Homra, but she knows they'll all move on. She feels worse for Reishi, because she knows that he'll be blaming himself for not being able to save Mikoto. She knows nobody will be able to convince him otherwise, either. She wishes she could help, but now's not the time. 

Once Izumo takes her back to the bar - and she's so glad this is still her home, she didn't think Izumo _wouldn't_ take her in, of course, but she couldn't help but worry about it all the same, because after losing his two best friends maybe he wants to leave, maybe things will change - he makes her some hot cocoa and they sit in silence.

The bar feels far too empty like this, and Anna has to tug a blanket over her shoulders to feel warm again.

_fushimi saruhiko_

The words slip out unintentionally while he's stitching and cleaning his Captain's stab wound, the one the Colourless King gave him. "He didn't deserve them."

Fushimi feels his Captain slowly turn to look at him - he's not angry or anything, still seems... Lost, almost. No, that's not right - _distant_. Completely shut off from the rest of them, defences high and impenetrable. He's every inch the Blue King right now, cold and logical and unfeeling in the face of duty. 

Or, well, he's trying to be. Fushimi knows his Captain well enough - unfortunately - to see the cracks around the edges, the quiet sadness lurking in the depths of his eyes. Fushimi wonders if he'll cry, but doubts it, and even if he did, it wouldn't be here. Munakata's voice startles him a little - he hadn't exactly expected an answer. "You mean Homra?"

Fushimi nods. If Munakata's going to answer, then Fushimi's going to keep talking. "Of course. He didn't deserve a damn single one of them. Thoughtless, destructive, and selfish." For the way he left them all behind like that, the way it's so soon after Totsuka's death. The way he made Munakata be the one to do it. Fushimi doesn't know the details just yet, but that much at least is obvious. 

Munakata watches him silently for a few seconds, then nods gently, expression still subdued and faraway. "I agree." Then his expression gets just a touch more solemn, looking away again, "What a damn fool..." 

Fushimi has a startling moment where he realizes he doesn't know whether Munakata's talking about Suoh, or himself. But that's okay, because Fushimi wasn't quite honest, either. He didn't only mean Homra; Suoh didn't deserve Munakata, either. Fushimi hates him even more, but there's no point hating a ghost. 

He wonders about Misaki as silence fills the air between them. He wonders what he should do now - will Misaki want to see him? Not right off the bat of course, but if he's hurting... But those thoughts slip away gradually. He can't do anything about that right now. He can, however, help his Captian. Once he finishes the stitches, he bandages over them, then moves to sit next to him. Munakata glances over, murmurs a little "thank you", and Fushimi just nods. 

He's not sure what to say anymore, but he feels like just sitting here while Munakata works through his thoughts might be helping. Maybe not a lot, but it's better than leaving him alone. He probably feels isolated enough at the moment, and since he's just sitting there staring at the floor, Fushimi doesn't mind sitting there with him.

Even if he and Munakata don't always see eye to eye on things, Fushimi doesn't want to see him suffer like this. Yeah, he's kind of an idiot for getting involved with Suoh Mikoto in the first place, but Fushimi doesn't think that matters at the moment. Munakata's probably beating himself up at the moment - Fushimi doesn't feel the need to add to that. He's not Munakata's biggest fan, but he's still pissed on his behalf. 

No, the only one who deserves any anger here is Suoh. Fushimi almost wishes he could have been the one to do it. Munakata didn't deserve that. All he'd ever done was care. Stupid, yes, but not deserving of something like that. 

He wonders if he could ever really kill Yata. He quickly stops thinking about it; it's too painful to contemplate seriously for any amount of time. 

Once they reach the complex - half destroyed after Suoh's break out, which Munakata doesn't comment on - Fushimi shoves him away from the grounds. "Go home and sleep."

The fact that he doesn't amusedly comment about the fact that he doesn't actually need to take orders from Fushimi and merely turns to go without a word speaks for how drained he is. Fushimi goes to the dojo and doesn't leave until he's destroyed a good half of their training dummies. He's not quite sure why. 

He doesn't feel any better when he leaves.

_kokujoji daikaku_

He's worried about the Blue King.

It isn't to the point where he feels it necessary to keep a close eye on him or anything quite so severe, but Munakata is clearly not taking Suoh's death very well. Of course he hadn't missed the way Munakata tensed up like that, and his aborted answer leaves Kokujoji with the feeling that yes, Munakata is struggling. No, he doesn't think Munakata is going to follow in Habari's footsteps, but he's still worried. 

There are worse things than dying, after all. Being left behind by someone you cared deeply about is one of them. 

He should know.

Of course he knows that Munakata _will_ be okay, eventually. He just doesn't know how long it will take. The cool, logical Blue King... His Sword of Damocles is worse off than it was before, of course, but he knows it's because the burden of killing another King puts a significant strain on it. Even so, it's still in remarkable condition - the fact that it had been near perfect before he'd been forced to kill the Red King had to do with that, yes, but that very same fact was also quite amazing. He's been a King for a few years now; for it to show such insignificant signs of wear is truly a testament to Munakata's strength of will and conviction.

So he knows Munakata will be fine, yes, but he also knows that until he can move on, he's going to be hurting. He's still been tending to his duties, explaining the situation to those who needed to know and making sure that his own clan was back to operating capacity in the minimum amount of time. He's in the process of rebuilding his headquarters, but Kokujoji knows it's going well. Munakata won't let this stop him from doing his job.

Kokujoji almost wishes he would.

Not permanently, of course - he just wishes Munakata could take a few days off or something to rest up. He's probably exhausted. He knows that Munakata's second and third in command have both been helping him even more than usual, but still. He deserves to rest. Kokujoji suspects that Munakata may have been in love with Suoh, even if he hadn't quite realized it himself, or perhaps he'd just denied it. Either way, he's sure Munakata's hurting, and wishes he could help.

Suoh Mikoto... He wonders what they said to one another, and how they both felt at the end of it all. He knows that it must have hurt. Part of Munakata's report is curiously lacking in detail, but Kokujoji won't call him on it. He's sure it's personal, and he doesn't need to know; bringing it up would only hurt Munakata.

Could they have ever been anything else? Could it have ended differently? Kokujoji regrets that he doesn't know enough about either of them to say. Certainly, he has files on both of them, everything from their medical records to personality reports, but it's all just second-hand data. He doesn't let himself get involved with the other Kings, because he's supposed to be neutral. That, and it hurts to get to know them, since they never seem to live a particularly long life. Suoh was only twenty-four. 

Munakata, too.

They're so _young_ to have gone through all of this. Perhaps they'd bonded with one another over the mutual realization that they couldn't relate fully to non-Kings anymore. If they weren't Kings, what would they be to one another? Would they even have met? 

Does Munakata think of his power as a curse or a gift? Or something else entirely? What did he think about Suoh? His power, their relationship, all of it. Kokujoji doesn't know, but he knows Munakata was lying when he'd said that Suoh wasn't suited for friendship. Not only because of his clan, but also the way Munakata and he had related to one another. 

Of course it was just to keep himself distanced from the situation - Kokujoji knows that, and certainly doesn't begrudge him it. It's a coping mechanism. However, he does wonder what's going to happen when Munakata can't lie to himself any more. Not letting himself mourn... Something will have to give eventually, and if he keeps bottling it up, it may very well be his Sword of Damocles.

Kokujoji worries, but Munakata needs to sort this out on his own, for now. If there comes a time when Munakata's Sword should begin to fall, well... Munakata has contingency plans for that, too. 

Kokujoji thinks that perhaps Munakata's far scarier than Suoh Mikoto ever was. That level of preparedness... He must have seen Suoh's eventual death coming, probably knew it would have to be by his hand. 

Kokujoji knows that he didn't factor in falling in love, though. The equation's unbalanced, and Munakata's left reeling even if he won't let it show. Kokujoji admires his strength, but also thinks it's terrifying. 

Perhaps Suoh and Munakata could have taken on the world together, in another place and time. 

He regrets that they never got the chance.

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't like how this turned out like at all wow I am so sorry Chesra bb please feel free to request another thing because this sucks imo and I am sorry for even posting it ahh /cries a lot/ I would say "I hope I can make it up to you with the second chapter!" 
> 
> but uh 
> 
> that's the angsty half so I doubt it'll make you any happier ;;


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